NOT MY ART
Well I finally found sometime to finish my movie review. It's been awhile since I went and saw DBE and my anger of the movie has died down so this won't be as extensive of a rant as I had before. This could also be due to the fact that it was exactly as terrible as I expected.
However, I did just recently see Star Trek for the second time, and for how bad DBE was Star Trek was that good. So I decided to talk of that as well.
And for note I wanted to repeat my stance on my review; "Now, is my opinion one that should be held in high regard? Are my views so eye-opening that anyone who reads this will regard my comments as genius?.... HELL NO. However, I do wish to express my opinion, as this is my blog I want to add a bit of personal flare and insight into my tastes."
I do give warning now this will CONTAIN SPOILERS.
Where to start with DBE? How about the characters? Chichi, she was at best bland. She just didn't matter, she was the stereotypical love interest who is there just for the sake of, well, being a love interest. She added nothing and had almost no personality. The Chichi from the old show, while on many occasions irritated me greatly at least was unique, the one in DBE could have been easily replaced with a card board cut out.
Bulma, Yamcha, and Piccolo were pretty bad as well but I want to try and make this review not too long. So lets look at Goku....ohh dear God Goku. It was as predicted he was a dumb angsty teen. He actually asked his grandfather if he could teach him something useful like how to get girls. Are you kidding me? What made Goku so endearing in the old show was that he was blissfully ignorant to the outside world and just cared about training. They took the uniqueness of the character and made him the same crappy-cookie-cutter-cutout as every modern day lead male role. Ha I think I like that crappy-cookie-cutter-cutout.
At least Roshi had moments of perversion, so that was a nice touch.
Lets see story/writing issues. Kind of vague I basically am just going to vent on what I found...... unpleasant. First of all the main part of the story takes place in 2 weeks. During this time the moon changes phases about 12 times. Apparently whoever made this movie never bothered too look out side their window too see that the moon takes a bit longer than that. Considering the moon is SUPPOSED to be important you think someone would look it up.
There was also this scene with what I assume were supposed to be saiba men in an underground lava pit. These creatures for some reason are almost invincible but fortunately can be destroyed in lava, boy that sure is convenient. Since the dragonball they were trying to get to was surrounded by lava and unreachable I thought this is where Goku would be able to fly, however, instead he makes a bridge out of Saiba men bodies and hops across the lava. I assume how dumb this is needs no further explanation.
Then there is Piccolo, most of his issues I find are in his story. He was captured and sealed in some artifact blah blah blah but the he escapes. Nice and typical. But wait how did he escape? I have no f'ing clue. They don't ever bother to mention which I guess normally wouldn't be relevant except for the fact that they were making a new artifact jar and planned on trapping him...... does anyone see the flaw in this? Perhaps he may ESCAPE again.
There is also the graphics. Dear god the end with the flying car was so badly green screened, it made 15 year old Sci-Fi channel original movies look like Lord of the Rings by comparison.
And finally Goku's abilities. He for some reason is the Avatar for he is an air-bender. He learned to use the Kamehameha which is an air-bending technique???? Which he is learning to use to light candles, as part of his training. Wait what? Why does an ability that uses air light things on fire? At least it's not like someone used it later as a form of CPR to bring someone back to life... ohh wait yeah they did. Hooray logic.
Then in the end Goku learns he was an evil minion of Piccolo as a giant monkey. And now the big finale, he transforms because of the solar eclipse... won't even get into how wrong that is. So, this must be where that large budget went right, huge gorilla? Yeah about that. He transforms and is a terrifying enormous.... 7 foot gorrilla, Ok? Then to top it off when he transforms back his clothes are perfectly intact. Wow, just wow has no one ever seen the hulk when clothes rip they stay ripped... arrggg the amateurish nature of this film is painful.
And with the wish of the dragonballs Goku wishes to bring back to life his Master Roshi who was killed by Piccolo. Yeah that makes sense he brings back the random pervert he knew for 2 weeks instead of his grandfather, who was all the family he had, yeah that makes sense.
Well fortunately after the abortion of a film that was DBE i got to see the glory that is Star Trek.
warning this will CONTAIN SPOILERS
Since my rant on DBE went a bit long I'll cut this one down a bit, that is of course if anyone is still reading at this point.
Wow this movie was amazing. The cast was great great. Sylar was a perfect Spock and Simon Peg was hilarious, as well as who ever it was that played Chekov. Every character was true to their original self, it was a thing of beauty.
The plot basically was about some angry Romulan workers who travel back in time and mess up the universe. Now what this did was create some large differences between this continuity and the original. In this world Planet Vulcan is destroyed, Kirk's father is dead, oh and yeah there are two Spocks, one being the great Leonard Nimoy.
What this does is create a universe with characters that are so true to their original intent but set up more movies for brand new stories and adventures. I wouldn't be surprised if in one or two sequels we get to see borg. Something that the original story did not have.
So as remakes go these two films are on polar opposite sides of the spectrum. While one was poorly made with lack of faith to the original or any sense of creativity the other went above and beyond to create a truly fantastic piece of cinema.
As I said before these rants are just my opinion please do not take it seriously or with any malice.
Well that's all for now look forward to more posts coming very very shortly.